Toni Lynn

This weekend, I had the privilege of watching my middle kiddo play in his first soccer tournament of the fall season. It was a weekend of firsts—his first time with a new club, a new team, and his first chance to prove himself among unfamiliar teammates.

From the moment they stepped onto the field for Game One, I could see the determination in their eyes. They came out strong, hungry for a win—and they earned it. Every player contributed, working together in a way that made victory feel like the natural result of their effort.

But then came the next few games. They were matched against teams who usually compete a few levels above them, and it showed. The scoreboard didn’t fall in our favor. They were shut out. Outplayed. Outpaced.

And yet—my son never quit. I watched him play with grit, pushing hard for every ball, fighting until the final whistle. By the last game, they already knew first place was out of reach. Still, they showed up. Still, they played with heart and passion. And something started to shift—they began communicating more, trusting each other, and working as a collective unit instead of just individuals chasing the ball.

It struck me how much this mirrors life.

In our careers, our relationships, our personal dreams—we often start out just like that first game: strong, determined, and full of fire we’re sure will never fade. But then life throws us into matches against “teams” we didn’t see coming—unexpected challenges, losses, setbacks. Sometimes we take a hit to our confidence. Sometimes we feel shut out.

And then we face a choice.

We can keep showing up—bringing grit, passion, and heart, even when the scoreboard isn’t in our favor. We can take the necessary pauses—our “sideline rests”—to hydrate, refocus, and recover so we can go back in stronger. Or… we can surrender to defeat and tap out early.

I’ve played this game called life both ways. I’ve walked off the field before the final whistle, and I’ve stayed in the fight when everything seemed lost. And I can tell you this: showing up with grit and passion, even when victory feels far away, will carry you further than giving up ever will.

And for us as first responder spouses and families, this is even more true. We play the game of life with so much intention, knowing the stakes are higher and the challenges relentless. We come up against the hard stuff—disappointment, missed holidays and birthdays, overtime shifts that stretch for days, the weight of trauma that follows our responders home, and the unpredictable chaos of this life. Each of those moments is another opponent on the field.

We have a choice. We can push forward with grit, compassion, and love—or we can be overtaken, letting anger and resentment towards the career, the system, or the circumstances rob us of our peace. One choice leaves us stronger, more connected, and more resilient. The other leaves us bitter and burnt out.

Because in life—just like in soccer—it’s not always about the score. It’s about the heart you bring to the game, the way you choose to show up, and the team you fight alongside until the very end.

So, to my fellow first responder spouses—keep showing up. Keep lacing up your cleats, even when the field feels tilted against you. Take your rest when you need it, lean on your teammates, and never underestimate the quiet power of resilience. We may not always control the scoreboard, but we can control the heart, grit, and grace we bring to every day. And in the long run, that’s what will carry us—and our families—across the finish line.