Toni Lynn

The other day, I was talking with my dear friend M. She told me how proud she was of me, how much she loves witnessing everything that has been born from deep heartache and utter darkness. She said she always knew I’d use my story to do something meaningful, to be a voice for others. Seeing that vision unfold, she said, fills her with pride.

As we talked, we found ourselves reflecting on the belief that everything in life happens for us, not to us. The difference lies in how we choose to show up and use what we’ve been given.

Everything Works Together for Us

I started getting philosophical, as I often do, and shared how I believe every decision we make, no matter how small, moves us either closer to or further from something. Each choice, each step, is always working for us.

Then I went down the rabbit hole of thinking about how every decision M and I ever made led us to the exact moment our paths crossed. I’m endlessly grateful that we both showed up to that same rec center preschool class with our firstborns all those years ago. That day marked the beginning of one of the most beautiful friendships of my life.

M has been one of my biggest supporters, the kind of friend who believes in me long before I believe in myself. She’s the first to call me out, to give me the “good ass kicking” I sometimes need, and she’s the steady light I can always count on.

A Friendship That Speaks Life

She’s also the kind of friend who sends messages like this:

“I was literally just going to text you to tell you that I woke up 19 times last night thinking about you and today, really all of this week, and how proud of you I am. You did it, you really did it!

You are trailblazing a path to healing for so many people in the simple fact that they will finally feel seen.

I admire you for everything that you are and aren’t. I admire your tenacity, your grit, and your ability to put your perfectionism aside and do the damn thing.”

On days when I take one step closer to my vision, despite the fear and doubt, she’s right there, sending my favorite flowers because she knows they’re my love language and declaring it “You Did the Damn Thing Day.”

And this, my friends, is why you intentionally surround yourself with a strong tribe.

Find Your Tribe

We need people who see the vision alongside us, who give us room to dream, create, and grow. The kind of friends who celebrate your victories and sit with you through your valleys.

This conversation with M reminded me of something my husband and I talked about often during our hardest 13 months, those seasons that test you to your core. We reminded each other that we had a choice: would these moments make us or break us? Would we grow through them or not?

Even when we couldn’t see how, we trusted that somehow those hard moments would be used for good, maybe in ways we wouldn’t understand for a long time.

Life Happens for You

So, my friend, whatever hardship or trauma you’re facing today, remember this: life isn’t happening to you, it’s happening for you.

Lean in. Trust that every decision you make today has the potential to shape your future in powerful ways. For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction, and the direction you move is up to you.

And above all else, find yourself a damn good tribe. They’re the ones who make even the hardest moments a little more beautiful by simply sitting beside you through it all.